Let's start out by saying I hate cancer. I was going to mainly use this blog to document my days at home with my daughters. Being a stay at home mom is different to me as I am surprised I have lasted this long. All the craziness and frustrations don't outweigh how happy I am to be able to be home for them. Mostly my little one. All the things I take for granted....

My mother has cancer. What were once moles that would be removed are now melanoma cancer cells in the lung, spleen, liver and bone of the spine. My mother has always had moles and had them removed for as long as I can remember. Her fight with cancer took a turn for the worse near my wedding day. It spread to her lymph nodes in her leg and she had surgery. It spread again and it is in her lung. I thought that was bad. I got married November 18, 2006. Her last test in April did not show additional growth. The test she had last week shows it has now spread to her spleen, liver and the bone in her spine.

I was asked how I feel about it the other day. I actually don't think it has hit me. Occasionally I will cry but she does not act or look sick (she has great wigs). Now that everything is moving so fast I am scared. I am scared I am going to lose my mom. We have our squabbles but in the end I love her and don't know what I am going to do without her here. I shouldn't even write that. It is negative and I need to be positive although, it is very hard.
I don't care for her treatment options either. I feel she should have completed full blown chemotherapy in the beginning. Maybe it would have worked maybe not but I would feel better knowing she tried it.